His Honor
So here he is, in his robes, Superior Court Judge Jay Bloom. Arguably San Diego’s most famous judge and maybe not the nicest guy who ever lived. You know who else wore a robe and wasn’t all that nice?
Darth Vader
Now I’d like to go on the record and inform the reader that in my opinion, Judge Bloom is not as bad as Darth Vader. Vader murdered, practiced black magic, and was involved with the Death Star which seems to have been a very unpleasant project.
There were however, other Darths.
What if??? As a parody of his Honor…
Darth Bloom
Now anybody can Photoshop horns on an elected official, call it a parody, and make a website about it for the purpose of satire. The objective of this site though, is to compare his Honor to the wrongdoers of Star Wars so lets see if we can find some similarities between Judge Bloom and those evil characters we’re all familiar with.
Remember this Guy?
The Emperor
The Emperor seized control of the republic through deception, homicide, bribery, and just about every underhanded trick you can think of. He commanded and army of clones, destroyed planets, and was able to shoot lightning bolts from his finger tips.
Although his Honor doesn’t hurt with electricity and has yet to destroy any planets, he does possess an exceptionally nasty legal maneuver that allows him to suck the money right out of your bank account. Like when he refused to return the frozen assets of a local business that was under investigation even though the district attorney (perjury’s worst enemy Bonnie Dumanis) failed to file any charges. What makes matters even worse is that the daughters of the business owners, who worked elsewhere, had their money stolen as well.
Apparently, this is a way for the DA’s office to legally take from citizens because most of the cash ends up in the hands of local law enforcement through federal grant sharing programs. His Honor was more than willing to leave this family high and dry and destroy the lives of some 30 employees all so the San Diego District Attorney’s office could add to its already massive budget.
Articles about this debacle are available here, here, and here.
- Darth Bloom
How about this guy?
Jabba The Hutt***
According to the Star Wars databank, Jabba the Hutt was one of the galaxy’s most powerful gangsters, with far-reaching influence in both politics and the criminal underworld. Are there any judgments made by his Honor that might make him look like a gangster?
In my opinion, if there was ever an example of judicial misconduct, it would have to be his Honor’s known trolley ticket case. To make a long story short, Judge Bloom witnessed a security guard perjure himself*, ignored the only piece of evidence presented in court, silenced the defendant when he attempted to speak, convicted an innocent man, and is still refusing to overturn the case. I think we can agree that these acts are an insight into Jay Bloom’s moral stance if in fact he has any morals at all.
Fortunately for the security guard, perjury is not a felony taken seriously in San Diego and he has yet to be charged by District Attorney Dumanis. In her defense, she’s stepping down from the post well before her term is up so maybe she’s got a full plate at the moment. We can only hope the next DA will show the law some respect.**
Here’s a copy of the defendant’s letter explaining the incident along with a parody of the district attorney’s marketing propaganda. The City of San Diego can consider this an open challenge to refute any of the claims made on this site or in the letters provided
* His Honor, having known about Austin Marshall’s felony for some time, has done nothing about it. Well done Jay Bloom.
** Summer Stephan has since been appointed DA, and just like her predecessor, has turned her back on the law. That’s two in a row now. Well done San Diego.
***Although technically a villain, this particular offender is not of the same caliber as some of the evildoers featured in this article and no similarities are being drawn between Jabba and the judge. The image is being used as a depiction of sloth representing his Honor’s tardiness in overturning the convictions of the innocent if in fact there are any such convictions needing to be overturned. No dear reader, this site is about comparing Judge Bloom to the true villains of Star Wars through the parody of Darth Bloom.
Darth Bloom
Another one to consider.
Darth Maul
Darth Maul was a formidable warrior and scheming mastermind. He wielded an intimidating double-bladed lightsaber, fought with a menacing ferocity, and the words fair and balanced would not be used when describing this molester of morality.
Judicial impartiality anyone? A judge must have the freedom to decide cases based on the facts and the law—not based on public opinion, the views of special interest groups or even a judge’s own personal beliefs. The right of every citizen to a fair trial is a cornerstone of our democracy.
What would you say about a judge who claimed that a certain witness was incapable of lying while in the same trial vilified witnesses from the opposing side? Would you say that he was impartial or would you point to this being yet another example of his apparent tyrannical rule and arguable cavalier take on the law?
Say what you want but here’s the article.
Darth Bloom
Summation
Here’s a judge that’s taken money from young women and refused to return confiscated cash regardless of whether or not the DA’s office filed any charges. A judge who has witnessed a crime being committed in his court (and did absolutely nothing about it), convicted the innocent, and is unwilling to overturn. Would it now be proper to ponder the possibility of his Honor feeling just a comfortable in the company of Sith lords as his parody seems to be in the image below?
Darth Bloom & Friends
Darth Bloom 